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The worst part about this is I otherwise loved the hobby. I loved the good people, but the worst hams seem to outweigh the good ones. I really want to stay in this hobby but, being treated like crap is taking its toll, and with high anxiety and constant panic attacks, I can't take this abuse anymore. Worst yet, on the air when I get insulted, they refuse to identify their call sign so I can't even report abuse. They'll seemingly chose to go off the air without ID because they know the way they act would get their license revoked.
I can't stand it anymore. I'm tired of people like this, I want to punch a pillow with their faces on it just to relieve stress and I shouldn't have to feel that way, or feel "inferior" in some way just because I might trip up. These are the same people who themselves make mistakes, and then pat each other on the back, while insulting newer enthusiasts.
I just can't do it anymore, and don't see why I should subject myself to abuse from older hams who think they are gods gift to the hobby. It's supposed to be a fun hobby, not stressful and making me feeling like I should blow my brains out with my .40 cal. (Seriously, one night I got suicidal after how I got tag teamed on the air over the wrong use of 73, even cussed at, and of course, none of them would ID. I ended up recording the conversations to cassette as a means of having SOMETHING to defend myself).
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