Questions on HDMI 720 and 1080 stretched 4.3

[kramden66]

I have a recorder that has hdmi output upconvert and you can select 480 , 720 , 1080 , and when its in 480 through the hdmi 4.3 is 4.3 but when set to 720 or 1080 it artificialy stretches the image , circles are no longer circles , people are shorter and wider , i tried changing all the various settings in the dvd but it doesn't make a change , now is this the dvd fault or is the tv at fault or is this just an hdmi thing ? i know people who can 1080 and still retain the 4.3 with spaces on the side of the screen , but i can't , so do i need a specific player or tv or both ? i even tried it to do it on a 36" tube hd sony tv and still get the stretch with spaces at the top and bottom - artificial widescreen or letterbox if you prefer , so whats the deal do i need a specific player to play 4.3 and still have 4.3 at 1080 or tv that does it , the settings in the tv sets make no difference either.

thanks
mike